Profundo Bono, Delaware’s theater company composed entirely of judges, lawyers, and other legal professionals, will be performing its 11th show this year, Flifferschmeep, Another Example of What Happens When You Get Lawyers Involved, on November 13, 14, and 15, 2026 in Wilmington at the Laird Performing Arts Center at Tatnall School (13th & 14th) and in Dover at a location to be determined (15th).
Get show announcements, ticket reminders, and audition updates by email.
Every other year since 2004, Profundo Bono has produced a musical comedy to raise funds to support the groups who provide (non-criminal) legal services to the impoverished of Delaware. These groups help children and families to stay in their homes and be protected from abuse.
In November 2024, we had our 10th show. To honor the many years of playwriting by Judge Robert B. Young, our plays continue to be performed by judges, lawyers, and legal professionals from across the State of Delaware (and occasionally just over the line!).
While it entails a great deal of work to put on, the actors, musicians, directors, and stage hands (from every aspect of practice, type of firm, part of the state, age, race, etc.) enjoy working without any remuneration for the benefit of the citizens of Delaware.
What is “Flifferschmeep,” you ask? I’m glad you asked. It’s two things:
Flifferschmeep: Another Example of What Happens When You Get Lawyers Involved, is an original musical comedy adapted from the author’s novel of the same name—which he is desperately trying to self-publish.
It is the 11th production of Profundo Bono, Delaware’s theater company composed entirely of judges, lawyers, and other legal professionals, dedicated to Robert Young (though not remotely written in his style).
The production features:
Performances will take place:
But what does Flifferschmeep mean?
It’s something literally earth-changing — but to know the answer, you need to buy a ticket and come to the show.
Profundo Bono is pleased to announce auditions for its upcoming 2026 original musical comedy, Flifferschmeep: Another Example of What Happens When You Get Lawyers Involved, to be performed in Wilmington and Dover this November.
We are seeking cast members from throughout the legal community or anyone whose work is substantially connected to the law. Auditions are open to attorneys, judges, law clerks, paralegals, legal assistants, court personnel, law students, and other professionals and staff employed in the legal profession. Prior theatrical experience is welcome, but not required. No prior stage experience is necessary—enthusiasm, reliability, and a willingness to have fun are far more important!
(location: Siegel JCC, 101 Garden of Eden Rd, Wilmington, DE 19803, use front entrance, not fitness entrance):
Monday, July 13, 2026 – 7:00 p.m. Tuesday, July 14, 2026 – 7:00 p.m. Saturday, July 18, 2026 – 4:00 p.m.
Callback Auditions will be Thursday, July 23, 2026 – 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. (all auditioners)
To register for a 10-minute audition, please visit and sign up here.
Auditioners will be asked to:
Thursday, November 13, 2026 (evening) – Wilmington Friday, November 14, 2026 (evening) – Wilmington Saturday, November 15, 2026 (afternoon) – Dover
Rehearsals will take place most Wednesday evenings and Sunday afternoons starting August 9, 2026. Not all actors will be required to attend all rehearsals, and we will do our best to accommodate individual schedules.
Cast members must be available for:
Tech Week: November 9, 10, 11, 2026 Performances: November 13, 14, and 15, 2026
Profundo Bono produces theatrical events to benefit charitable causes and community initiatives. As part of supporting Profundo Bono’s charitable mission, cast members (other than judicial officers) will be expected to assist with advance ticket sales and the promotion of sponsorship and program advertising opportunities.
Whether you are a seasoned performer or have never set foot on a stage, we encourage you to join us for what promises to be a unique and entertaining production.
To obtain additional information, please contact:
Ann Kashishian and Adam Hiller, co-Directors
302.442.7677 telephone
Opportunities may also exist for non-acting roles such as stage hands, ushers, and choreographers, as well as volunteers with costuming or carpentry experience. Please contact [email protected] for more information.
Flifferschmeep is an original musical comedy featuring a large ensemble cast, memorable songs, and plenty of opportunities for performers of all experience levels. The show includes acting, singing, and dancing roles for 24 actors, as well as opportunities for singers who prefer not to take speaking parts.
We have numerous principal and supporting roles available and encourage performers of any gender—or no gender-specific preference—to audition. Diversity encouraged!
Please feel free to share this announcement with others in the legal community who may be interested.
We look forward to seeing you at auditions!
Ticket sales have not yet begun.
Check back here, as this will be updated from time to time.
Group discounts may be available.
To be contacted when ticket sales begin, contact us at:
Ticket proceeds do provide some revenue, but our major contribution to worthy institutions such as the Combined Campaign for Justice comes from sponsorships and advertising placements in the programs that are distributed to those that attend.
We have three levels of sponsorship, separately designated in our program:
For only $2,500, this sponsorship level provides you with the following benefits:
For only $2,000, this sponsorship level provides you with the following benefits:
For only $1,500, this sponsorship level provides you with the following benefits:
You can imagine the great exposure to a fine audience of people who purchase goods and services, in addition ultimately to helping deserving people who really need the assistance. As you can imagine, there is also a high concentration of lawyers, legal professionals, court professionals and para-professionals, and legal staff who attend our shows, so your audience comes naturally targeted.
Even if you don’t choose to become a sponsor, a very significant portion of the proceeds we donate come from program advertising in our program, which is distributed free to each ticket holder. The rates are extremely reasonable:
Persons interested in becoming sponsors or placing program ads should contact:
Adam Hiller at [email protected]
Thank you very much for being a supporter of our cause!
PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE DOCUMENT. We know you won’t. That’s fine. We’ve written it anyway. Our lawyers feel better about the whole arrangement. By reading this sentence, you agree to all terms herein, whether you read them or not, including the parts we added in paragraph 94 while you were distracted by a notification on your phone.
By visiting this website, you (“User,” “You,” “Patron,” “Person Who Is Definitely Procrastinating Right Now”) agree to these terms. If you do not agree, please close your browser. If you cannot figure out how to close your browser, please ask someone nearby for help. Profundo Bono, Inc. is not responsible for your inability to operate a web browser, though we note with some affection that you managed to find us, and we appreciate that enormously.
This website may contain images of actors in costumes. Some of those costumes are very convincing. We are not responsible if you mistake our Hamlet for the actual Prince of Denmark, though we are deeply flattered on his behalf. The actors depicted are local volunteers who have day jobs and would very much appreciate you not asking them about their “real” careers at the stage door.
The website is provided “as is,” “as was,” “as might be on a good day,” and “subject to the technical limitations of our volunteer webmaster, Gerald, who learned HTML in 2003 and is doing his absolute best.” Gerald is also our set designer and occasionally our stage manager. He is a very busy man. Please respect his efforts.
This website is optimized for modern web browsers. If you are using Internet Explorer, we are unable to help you and also deeply concerned about you on a personal level. We gently encourage you to update your software, and perhaps also your perspective on life. The Theater does not support Internet Explorer, fax-based internet connections, or browsers that describe themselves as “vintage.”
This website uses cookies. Not the delicious kind—regrettably, we cannot transmit baked goods through your screen, though our tech team has been asked about this more times than you might expect (three times, all by the same board member). These cookies are small data files that help us understand how people use our site. They are not sentient, they cannot read your diary, and they will not remember your embarrassing search history. That’s a different kind of cookie entirely.
By continuing to use this website, you consent to our use of cookies. By refusing to consent, you may find certain features of the site unavailable, including the ability to purchase tickets, view our calendar, or feel fully welcomed into our digital lobby. We are sorry about this. Truly. We didn’t make the internet. We just live in it.
All content on this website, including but not limited to photographs, text, logos, show descriptions, the extremely witty bio our director wrote for herself, the slightly less witty bio she wrote for the assistant director, and the production photos in which at least one actor is making an expression they deeply regret—is the intellectual property of Profundo Bono, Inc.. Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited. Authorized reproduction requires written permission, a reasonable waiting period, and the tacit acknowledgment that our photographer, who is also a volunteer, did a genuinely good job.
Our website may contain links to third-party sites such as ticketing platforms, parking apps, local restaurants, and the personal blog of our choreographer, which is technically about urban beekeeping but occasionally references our productions. We do not endorse, control, or take responsibility for any third-party content. If you click a link and end up somewhere unexpected, that is between you and the internet. We wish you a safe journey and a speedy return.
By purchasing a ticket, you acknowledge that: (a) you have agreed to attend a live theatrical performance; (b) live theatrical performances involve human beings who sometimes forget their lines, occasionally trip on set pieces, and once—just once—in a production of “The Music Man” that we do not speak of at board meetings—missed their entrance entirely because they were eating a sandwich backstage; (c) such occurrences are part of the irreplaceable beauty of live theater; (d) you will not demand a refund because of sandwiches.
Tickets are non-refundable. Tickets are also non-transferable to persons who will not enjoy the show, non-exchangeable for goods or services at participating retailers, and non-redeemable for emotional satisfaction beyond what the performance itself provides, which we have been told is considerable. Exceptions to the no-refund policy include: (a) documented acts of God; (b) cancellation of the performance by the Theater; (c) you discovering that the lead is your ex and you simply cannot; (d) a global pandemic (been there, done that, bought the plexiglass barriers—they’re in storage now).
In the event of a performance cancellation, we will issue a full credit toward a future production, a heartfelt apology, and our solemn vow to do better. Cash refunds will be considered on a case-by-case basis by our treasurer, who guards the checking account with the energy of a man who knows exactly how much the fog machine cost to repair.
Seats are assigned at the time of purchase. Once assigned, seats may not be relocated by the patron without the assistance of Front of House staff. We understand that Row G, Seat 12, is slightly obstructed by a support column that has been “on our list to address” since 2007. Patrons seated in this seat will be notified at the time of purchase and offered an alternative, or, if they enjoy the column aesthetic, welcomed to embrace it as an immersive architectural experience.
The Theater reserves the right to reassign seats in the event of equipment failures, performer blocking changes, or the situation we had in 2022 when the scrim for Act Two turned out to be exactly where Row B thought Row B was going to be. We are still very sorry about that.
Ticket prices are subject to applicable service fees, processing fees, convenience fees, and what the ticketing platform describes as a “facility charge,” which we are told is standard and not, as it may appear, a small tax on the existence of the building. We don’t love these fees either. We have had words with our ticketing provider. The fees remain.
Discount codes are single-use, non-combinable, and subject to availability. A discount code found in a decade-old newsletter is not valid. A discount code shared between sixteen members of a family reunion group is also, we regret to say, not valid, though we appreciate the enthusiasm and the fact that you are all attending together, which is genuinely lovely and exactly the sort of community spirit we exist to foster. Please purchase at full price. We need the fog machine parts.
Admission to the theater requires a valid ticket. Your ticket may be presented as a printed confirmation, a digital barcode on your phone, a screenshot of a digital barcode on your phone, a screenshot of a screenshot, or, in emergencies, a very detailed verbal description of what your ticket looked like before you accidentally deleted the email. Our front-of-house volunteers will do their best. They are patient people. Please do not test them.
The Theater reserves the right to refuse admission to any person who: (a) is visibly intoxicated; (b) is carrying outside food or beverages beyond what we haven’t noticed yet; (c) is wearing a costume that may be confused with an actual cast member; (d) has a history of hostile behavior toward our volunteers, our equipment, or the fourth wall; (e) arrives after the performance has begun and expects front-row seating, a full explanation of what they missed, and a fresh program.
Doors open 30 minutes before curtain. Curtain is when we say curtain is, which is typically 8pm, except when it’s 7:30pm, which is listed clearly on your ticket and was also in the confirmation email, the reminder email, the “final reminder” email, the text message, and the handwritten note we considered sending but felt was too personal. Latecomers will be seated at the discretion of Front of House staff, typically during a natural break in the action. “Natural break” is defined by us, not by you.
All electronic devices must be silenced before the performance begins. This means completely silent—not vibrate, not “I turned it down,” not the kind of silenced where you still get a tiny ding from a group chat about dinner plans. Silent. Off. In your pocket or bag. The actors on stage have spent weeks learning their lines, navigating a complex emotional landscape of human experience, and doing it in period-appropriate footwear. They deserve your complete, unmediated, screen-free attention for 90-120 minutes. You have our full support in telling your family you’ll be unreachable.
Photography and video recording during the performance are strictly prohibited. This is for copyright reasons, audience experience reasons, and the very practical reason that a phone screen in a dark theater is visible from space, or at minimum from the stage, where it is deeply distracting to people trying to remember whether to cross left or right before the key change. Photographs in the lobby before and after the performance are welcomed and encouraged. Please tag us.
Patrons are expected to maintain a reasonable level of quiet during the performance. “Reasonable” is defined as: audible gasps at appropriate dramatic moments (encouraged); enthusiastic laughter at comedic moments (warmly welcomed); whispering to your neighbor about what you think is going to happen next (not encouraged, but we understand the impulse); full-volume commentary on plot developments, casting choices, or the relative merits of this production versus the 2014 version (absolutely not, please, the cast can hear you).
Coughing and sneezing are understood to be involuntary and will not result in ejection from the premises, though patrons are encouraged to bring lozenges, suppress what can be suppressed, and, if possible, time their unavoidable respiratory events to moments of high dramatic or musical volume. We are not joking. Experienced theatergoers understand. Cough during the overture.
Children are welcome at productions designated as family-friendly. Content advisories are published for each production and represent the Theater’s good-faith effort to prepare you for what’s coming, not a guarantee of your child’s response to it. We once listed a production as “suitable for ages 6 and up” and a seven-year-old in the third row cried for 45 minutes at a scene involving a talking tree. We are still not entirely sure what to do with that information. We describe it now in good faith as “an unexpected emotional response to strong metaphor.”
Infants and children under the age of 3 are not permitted in the main theater during performances, for the sake of the performers, the other audience members, and the children themselves, who deserve better than being brought to “Sweeney Todd” before they can walk. Cry rooms are available for families with young children who may need to step out.
The Theater is committed to making our space accessible to all patrons. We offer wheelchair-accessible seating, assisted listening devices, audio description, open captioning performances, and relaxed performances for patrons with sensory sensitivities. If you require any accommodation not listed here, please contact us. We will do our best. Our best is pretty good. We’ve been working on it.
Live theater involves inherent risks, including but not limited to: pyrotechnic effects clearly disclosed in advance; theatrical fog or haze; strobe lighting; loud sound effects; sudden scene changes involving the rapid movement of large painted flats; the emotional risk of becoming unexpectedly invested in fictional characters and then having to process that on the drive home; and, in the case of immersive productions, being asked to become part of the story in a way you may not have fully anticipated when you bought your ticket but which we promise is actually quite fun once you let yourself go with it.
The Theater cannot be held responsible for: the quality of your catharsis; memories you did not expect to surface during a production of “Our Town”; the fact that the show was better than you thought it would be and now you have to revise your entire opinion of community theater; or the inexplicable phenomenon, reported by many patrons, of leaving a theater feeling more human than when you arrived. That one’s intentional.
Sponsors will receive recognition in accordance with their sponsorship tier as outlined in the Sponsorship Prospectus, which is a document we are very proud of and which our development chair designed herself in a software she learned specifically for this purpose. Recognition includes listing in programs, acknowledgment on our website, verbal recognition during certain performances, and the warm satisfaction of supporting the arts, which economists have confirmed is its own reward, despite it not being tax-deductible in all circumstances, and you should check with your accountant about that, because we’re a theater company and not accountants.
Sponsorship commitments must be confirmed, and sponsor information submitted, no later than the program print deadline. The program print deadline is a real deadline. It is not a soft deadline. It is not a deadline that can be negotiated by a phone call on the day the programs go to print. We say this with love, and with the memory of a specific sponsor—you know who you are—whose very long business name did not fit in the allocated space because they submitted it three days late and also changed the name of their business between commitment and submission. The programs were beautiful. Your name was hyphenated in a way that pleased no one.
Sponsorship of the Theater does not constitute editorial control over production content, casting decisions, directorial vision, or the choice to set “Romeo and Juliet” in a dystopian future water park, which was divisive but artistically justified. Sponsors are welcome to attend the show, attend opening night receptions, and share their pride in supporting us. Sponsors are not welcome to suggest that “the ending of Hamlet could be a little more upbeat” or inquire whether we’ve considered doing “something people have actually heard of.”
By entering into a sponsorship agreement with the Theater, the sponsor acknowledges that their business name, logo, and associated reputation will be publicly linked with our productions. In the event that a production receives negative reviews, we ask for your continued support and your understanding that critics are not always correct. In the event that a production receives wildly enthusiastic reviews, we ask for your continued support and your willingness to renew at a slightly higher tier next season.
Advertisement artwork must be submitted in print-ready format (300 DPI minimum, CMYK color space, with bleed where applicable) no later than the program print deadline (see Section 4.2, and the cautionary tale contained therein). The Theater cannot be held responsible for the print quality of advertisements submitted as JPEG screenshots from a mobile phone, advertisements designed in presentation software at 72 DPI, or advertisements submitted as a Word document with the note “you can probably figure out how to make this look nice.” We have tried. The results have been mixed.
The Theater reserves the right to decline any advertisement that contains content inconsistent with our values, conflicts with the artistic integrity of the production, or is simply too much. Advertising content must be in good taste. “Good taste” is defined by the Theater’s board, whose collective taste has been shaped by years of devotion to live performance, and which, while occasionally idiosyncratic, comes from a genuine place. The board did not enjoy the proposed ad for a pest control company featuring an illustration of a very large dead cockroach. The cockroach was beautifully rendered. The answer was still no.
Programs are distributed free of charge to attending audience members. The Theater makes every effort to estimate print quantities accurately, but cannot guarantee that every patron will receive a fresh program. In the event of a print shortage, priority will be given to first arrivals, patrons who specifically mention the program upon entry, and, candidly, people who are very nice to our volunteers. This is not an official policy. It is, however, a reality of human nature in front-of-house volunteer situations.
Participation in Theater productions is subject to the outcome of the audition process, which is conducted by the Director and, depending on the production, the Music Director, Choreographer, and/or a small, silent committee of people sitting in folding chairs in the dark who are not trying to be intimidating, truly, it’s just how theaters are configured. Casting decisions are final. We know that “final” is a word that invites negotiation in some contexts. In this context, it means final.
The Theater is committed to inclusive casting and welcomes auditions from performers of all backgrounds, identities, experience levels, and relationships to singing in public. We are a community theater. We have cast people whose only previous performance experience was “a few poems in high school” and watched them grow into genuinely moving performers. We have also cast people who assured us they could “absolutely” do a British accent. Both experiences have taught us things.
Cast and crew members agree to attend all scheduled rehearsals as published in the rehearsal schedule, which is distributed at callbacks and which will be revised, we assure you, at least twice before opening night, possibly more. “Attending rehearsal” means arriving on time, prepared, having reviewed the relevant materials, and not being the person who has to be found in the parking lot because they “thought rehearsal was at 7:30 not 7:00.” The rehearsal schedule is not aspirational. It is a commitment.
Unexcused absences from rehearsal may result in recasting, reassignment of scenes, or a Very Serious Conversation with the Stage Manager, who is the backbone of this entire organization and who has earned the right to look disappointed. Excused absences require 48 hours’ advance notice wherever possible, understanding that emergencies do not operate on 48-hour schedules, and that we are human beings who understand the nature of life outside of theatrical rehearsal, even when it is very inconvenient.
All participants are expected to conduct themselves with professionalism, mutual respect, and a basic recognition that everyone in this building is here because they love theater, which is a thing that does not pay well and demands enormous emotional and physical investment and yet here we all are, week after week, doing it anyway, which means we are all on the same team and should treat each other accordingly. This is our code of conduct. We stand by it entirely.
Cast members agree to wear costumes as provided by the costume department, including but not limited to: period-appropriate footwear that may not align with modern notions of lumbar comfort; undergarments of the era being depicted; wigs, facial prosthetics, and other transformative elements as required by the production; and, in the case of ensemble roles, matching outfits with eleven other people, which sounds simple but which you will understand is logistically complex once you have met our ensemble.
The costume department has worked very hard on these garments. They have pinned and altered and sewn and, in one legendary case, reconstructed an entire corset between a Saturday matinee and a Saturday evening performance. Their work is to be respected. This means: do not eat in costume, do not sit on the floor in costume, do not attempt to wash your costume at home “because it needed it,” and absolutely do not disappear with your costume into your personal wardrobe, from which it will emerge at the cast party looking suspiciously well-styled.
By participating in a Theater production, cast and crew members grant the Theater a non-exclusive, royalty-free, eternal, irrevocable right to use their likeness, photographs, video recordings, audio recordings, and promotional materials created in connection with the production for the Theater’s marketing, promotional, educational, and archival purposes. This includes that photo that was taken at an angle nobody asked for during the fight choreography rehearsal, the video clip from the dress rehearsal where everyone is trying their very hardest, and the group photo from opening night where two people blinked but the rest looks genuinely wonderful and we’re going to use it.
Theatrical performance and production work involve physical demands, including but not limited to: standing for extended periods; dancing, lifting, or stage combat as choreographed and safety-trained; carrying set pieces that are heavier than they look; climbing ladders on which one should not be doing anything complex but here we are; and the particular physical toll of wearing a 30-pound dragon costume for a two-hour performance three nights in a row. All safety protocols must be followed at all times. Any safety concern should be immediately reported to the Stage Manager, who is, as previously noted, the backbone of this operation.
Raffle tickets may be purchased at the theater during performances and select pre-show events. Purchase of a raffle ticket constitutes entry into the raffle and agreement to these terms. The odds of winning depend on the total number of tickets sold, which varies by event, by attendance, and by how persuasive our volunteer at the raffle table is. Our volunteer at the raffle table this season is a retired middle school principal named Margaret who once convinced an entire auditorium to buy raffle tickets by simply making sustained eye contact. We admire her technique. We take no responsibility for it.
Prizes are as described and as available. In the event that a prize becomes unavailable prior to the raffle drawing—for example, in the event that the donated dinner certificate was to a restaurant that has since, between the time of donation and the time of the raffle, quietly closed—the Theater will substitute a comparable prize of equal or greater value, or will negotiate with the winner in good faith, or will feel very bad about it and apologize sincerely. All prizes are donated by community members and local businesses. The Theater did not select these prizes based on personal preference, though we note that the prize basket including the spa gift certificate has been coveted internally by at least three board members.
Raffle drawings are conducted live, typically during intermission or at the conclusion of the performance, by a disinterested party—that is, a person without a financial stake in the outcome, not a person who is actively bored, though in a long show, these two categories may sometimes overlap. Winners need not be present to win, but winners who are present will be asked to come forward to claim their prize and receive polite applause from the audience, which is, frankly, one of the small pleasures of community theater attendance that nobody talks about enough.
Winners are responsible for any applicable taxes on prizes received. The Theater will provide documentation as required by law. We are sorry that winning a basket of artisanal jam has tax implications. We did not design the tax code. We just sell theater tickets and occasionally raffle jam.
The Theater serves food and beverages at select events, including pre-show receptions, opening night parties, fundraising galas, and our annual “Sip and Soliloquy” wine-and-Shakespeare evening, which sounds fancier than it is, but which we are told is a delightful time. All food and beverage service is provided in good faith with the intention of enhancing your experience. We are a theater company, not a restaurant. We have done our best.
The Theater makes every reasonable effort to provide allergen information for food and beverages served at events. Please note: our kitchen is not a certified allergen-free facility. Cross-contamination is possible. If you have a severe food allergy, please contact us in advance, and please also bring your own safe food options as a precaution, because while we have read extensively about gluten and feel we understand it, we are not medical professionals and the stakes of getting this wrong are ones we take very seriously.
Common allergens present in our kitchen and event spaces may include: gluten (the cheese straws), tree nuts (the brownies that our board member brings without fail to every event and which everyone loves and for which we will not be discontinuing the service regardless), dairy, eggs, soy, and seasonal specialties prepared by rotating community volunteers who love to cook and who are generous with their talents but who do not always complete allergen disclosure forms as thoroughly as our health and safety officer would prefer. We are working on this. The cheese straws remain excellent.
Where alcohol is served, it is served in compliance with applicable state and local laws regarding the service of alcoholic beverages. Valid ID is required for all patrons who appear to be under the age of 30, which is the cutoff our volunteers have been trained to apply, and which is not quite what the law specifies, but which reflects a tendency among our volunteer bartenders to be very conservative on this question, particularly since the incident at the 2021 gala, which we will not be elaborating on here.
The Theater reserves the right to stop serving alcohol to any patron who, in the judgment of our volunteer bartender, has had enough. This judgment is subjective and may be influenced by factors including but not limited to: volume of speech, quality of interpretive dancing during intermission, repeated attempts to explain the plot of the show to the bartender, and requests for a third glass of the “fancy wine” (which is the $14 bottle someone donated and which is not, in fact, particularly fancy, though it is perfectly fine).
Outside food and beverages are generally not permitted in the theater. Exceptions may be granted for medical necessity, specific dietary requirements not met by our offerings, or the particular situation of a parent who has brought Goldfish crackers as a critical part of maintaining the peace with a small child, in which case: we see you, we respect your strategy, please do your best to contain the crunch. Water bottles are permitted. Takeout containers from the Thai place next door, carried in with full confidence, are not.
Food and beverages may be taken into the auditorium for select performances as designated. Where permitted, patrons are requested to consume food items quietly. “Quietly” means: not during silences, not during monologues, not during the song that the lead has been working on for four months, and absolutely not in a way that involves crinkling. If your snack is wrapped in cellophane, please unwrap it entirely before the lights go down. Or, ideally, leave it in the lobby. The cellophane will always be louder than you think it will be. This is a law of physics. We cannot help you.
The lobby of the Theater is a shared public space open to all ticket holders, volunteers, staff, donors, and persons who have wandered in from the street to ask what the building used to be (“it was a church, then a supermarket, then briefly a roller rink, and we don’t talk about that period”). Patrons are welcome to gather in the lobby before the performance, during intermission, and following the final curtain. The lobby may also be used for: purchasing merchandise, viewing production photographs, locating the restrooms (turn left past the prop storage, then right at the framed poster from our 2009 production of “Grease,” then keep going past the radiator, you’ll find it), and having enthusiastic conversations about the show in voices that carry all the way back to the dressing rooms where the cast can absolutely hear you.
The lobby floor is a historic hardwood surface that has been in this building since approximately 1962 and that reflects, in its various scuffs and personality marks, decades of theatrical tradition and several very spirited intermissions. On rainy or snowy evenings, the lobby floor may become slippery near the entrance. Wet floor signs will be deployed. Please heed them. The Theater is not responsible for falls resulting from failure to observe wet floor signs, from footwear inappropriate to the surface conditions, or from the particular circumstance of running to get to the bar line before intermission ends, which we understand but cannot endorse from a safety or dignity standpoint.
Merchandise is available for purchase at the lobby merchandise table. Prices are as marked. The merchandise table volunteer cannot make change for a $100 bill and would appreciate it if you knew this going in. The merchandise table volunteer is also not the Box Office and cannot resolve ticketing issues, reseat you, or provide medical assistance, though they are a very kind person who will do their best to direct you to the appropriate resource. Please be patient with them. They are selling tote bags and holding a lot of information in their head simultaneously.
The lobby contains framed photographs, posters, and artwork relating to the Theater’s history and current season. These items are displayed for the enjoyment of all patrons and are not available for purchase, removal, or “borrowing.” If you are particularly moved by a lobby photograph and would like a copy, please speak to the Box Office, who can connect you with our archivist, a remarkably well-organized person named Ruth who has somehow catalogued 40 years of productions and who is delighted to hear that someone noticed.
The lobby is subject to maximum occupancy limits as posted and as required by applicable fire code. In the event of an emergency, please follow the direction of staff and volunteers, proceed to the nearest exit, and do not re-enter the building until cleared to do so. Emergency exits are marked by illuminated signs. The exit nearest the prop closet is the one that sticks slightly and requires a firm push at the bottom; our facilities team is aware of this and it has been “on the list” since before any current board member took office. Push firmly at the bottom.
Items left in the lobby, auditorium, or any other area of the Theater will be held in the Lost and Found for a period of 30 days, after which unclaimed items will be donated to a local charity or, in the case of items that are genuinely baffling, quietly discussed among staff. Our current Lost and Found contains: three umbrellas, one reading glasses case, a single gardening glove, a library book that is now three months overdue (we are sorry, we have been meaning to call), and a beautifully wrapped gift that arrived in 2023 and about which we have many questions.
To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, the Theater, its board of directors, officers, volunteers, employees, contractors, cast and crew members, the lady who donates the cookies, the man who does the parking, and Gerald (our webmaster, costume technician, occasional stage manager, and resident problem-solver) shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising from your attendance at, participation in, streaming of, or proximity to any Theater event, including but not limited to: emotional distress.